The verdict is still out on Darwin, but Mendel knew his stuff

This morning, I sent my mom an email with my Sweet 16 picks (we do the tournament round-by-round in my house). I couldn't remember if I'd already sent them to her earlier in the week. I joked that this verifies I have her genes. My mom has a lousy memory. She once drove by a turn that she was supposed to take twice in a row. In retrospect, I'd rate this joke as a solid 0 out of 10. I'm not sure it even qualifies as a joke.

It dawned on me that this isn't even the best example of genetics in action. I thought I was original when I started this blog. Somehow I forgot that my dad has been the de-facto leader of the online fishing community for some time. He rules his domain from the best chair in our house, which he calls his throne and occupies almost always. At this point, it's not that throne, but I'm worried that transition may occur over time, especially with the prevalence of enlarged prostates, causing regular guys to need to use the restroom at all critical times (sporting events, photo opportunities, etc).

His moniker is "numbskull", and here's a link to his profile. I have to say I'm a little concerned about the short autobiography: "Usually skunked". I don't know what that means, but it doesn't sound good. He has posted 2,770 times since joining in November 2005. That's a prodigious rate of about 2.7 posts per day. You know what the most remarkable part is? I couldn't really find any embarrassing material (unless you count a penchant for using little colorful smiley faces). To my surprise, he appears to be an upstanding online citizen.

Speaking on upstanding online citizens, look at the banner ad on StriperTalk by Markus. (If it's not the same as mine, then Big Brother Google has identified me as a creep.)

"My name is Markus and I created PlentyOfFish.com; my site is free and we created 800,000 relationships last year. The majority of users are professionals and users who are serious about meeting someone. If you are looking for someone, you may as well join us, we have millions of people and best of all we are free! You aren't going to meet anyone trolling supermarkets or bars."

A few notes:
1. 800,000 relationships. That number is more inflated then David Steinberg's page hit count, which he has attempted to bloat by putting a trick link to his own site in his latest Twitter-like excuse for a post.
2. Professionals. Hmmm, what profession?
3. Notice Markus does not identify the minority of users. I don't want to know.
4. The assertion that you won't meet anyone trolling in supermarkets or bars. Probably not. Trolling usually involves unwieldy tackle and live bait. But if you do meet someone under those conditions, it's love.

Here's a real profile from PlentyOfFish, entitled "Looking for that one bite". At first, I was skeptical about dread66. He doesn't look much like a fisherman (see photo). But his emotional side, revealed in the About Me, just hooks me! A snippet:

"Your fingertips touch and smooth my skin
As you pull my dreads so tenderly"

This gives me a new business idea. My last idea: Segway tours of New Orleans. I had the New Orleans tourism market cornered. We had just got off of a tour bus. It was packed. It was boring. The tour guide pointed out a Walgreens. Unfortunately, I later learned that someone beat me to the punch with Segway tours. I am hoping to trump all with the Deja Vu Segway Tour of New Orleans.



However, I have thus far been unable to secure a use agreement on the requisite government technology ("a time window and Einstein-Rosen bridge through seven satellites that allows Denzel to look back four and a half days in time"), which limits my competitive advantage. Here's the new idea: hobby-specific internet dating sites that require themed profiles.

Site 1: "Lack a hitting partner? At RallyMates.com, we know that love, like tennis, is a game for two. We'll help you find the partner that gives you the confidence and comfort you need to put all your shots deep in the court!"

Site 2: "Feeling more like a pawn than a king? Come to CheckMate.com, where you'll learn the strategy you need to stay on the board late into the game and corner the queen of your dreams."

Site 3: "In the gutter? Does she keep splitting? At OnlyStrikes.com, we'll straighten you out and put you in the perfect lane to bowl her over. All you have to do is remember the clean socks!"

Who's with me? If you have a government contact, we'll combine these themed sites with the Deja Vu Segway Tour. Just think: you take your date on the tour. You mess it up (you're an internet dater after all). But you're not done. Four and half days later, you re-do the tour and correct your mistakes. Or you just give up and take the Other New Orleans Deja Vu Tour.