1. "All six Canadian NHL teams as well as one U.S. team". (That U.S. team is the Detroit Red Wings, it sounds like it came free with the half dozen. NHL teams = day old doughnuts.) Pop quiz: can you name the six Canadian NHL teams? If not, please put down that honest brew. Answer at bottom.
2. The Canadian Junior Hockey League
3. Team Canada Hockey
4. Hockey Hall of Fame
5. NHLPA (National Hockey League Players Association for you warm weather folk).
Ask any college admissions officer. Well-rounded is so early 00's. It's about showing deep commitment to your one true passion. Like student government. Molson picked hockey, played the Canada card, and I soaked it up. Early acceptance! Full financial aid!
But, Molson, you have to be careful not to take it too far. There are times when someone says or does something so unbelievable that you just don't know how to respond. You stop for a minute and wonder if we're all on the same planet. Two examples come to mind:
1. The first time Mitalee visited my home, one of my THB-squared's was anxious to impress with his worldliness: "Oh, you're actually from India. That's where they have all the stray dogs, right?"
2. This fall, I arrived home to find an alarmed David Steinberg. For this conversation, substitute "handy" for "honest" in THB.
DS: "Dude, the light went out. I think we need to call an electrician."
THB: "Did you change the bulb?"
DS: "Oh."
Molson = Canada = Hockey + Beer. Hard to argue with that. Then, someone at Molson had one of those are-you-kidding moments. But they didn't just say it out loud. They printed it on their label.
Answer honestly: would you rather...give up sex for the rest of your life or watching hockey?
Well-
Tha-
I don't know what to say. I showed the bottle to someone. I swear it's real.
Extra stuff to amuse you since I can't add anything more to the main post
In a coincidence of epic proportions, a third stupid-comment example just occurred while I was writing this piece of the post, and I, THB, was the guilty party. "No!" you exclaim. But yes. DS and I are watching 24. (He is also blogging. I find this amusing. We are having a friendly conversation about 24 while I make fun on him on my blog and he likely makes fun of me on his blog.)
THB: I can't believe Jack is dying. (NB: he was just exposed to a deadly biological weapon).
DS: He can't die. There's a season 8.
THB: Well, maybe our hero Aaron Pierce will have to take his place.
DS: (Silence)
THB: (Grasping for the words that just escaped his mouth. Unsuccessfully.)
DS: I am not going to dignify that.
Damn it. Take Jack's place? Get serious, THB.
A list of Top 1's (starting with a couple related to our Northern Neighbors):
Top 1 national anthem in the world: Canada.
Top 1 thing about Canada: Table shuffleboard. This is a great table game involving finesse, strategy, touch, and even power at times. They love it in Canada because it's like curling.
Top 1 worst fast food meal: The McRib. Remember that thing?
Believe it or not, the history of the McRib is fascinating. It tested extremely well in Nebraska. Not surprising. But read the part about McDonald's simultaneously launching a McRib farewell tour and a Save the McRib fake-grassroots campaign.
Top 1 most useless person: A tie between those other two judges on American Idol. I don't know their names. You don't either. They're worthless and annoying and they always just agree with Simon anyway. With unemployment above 0% as it is today, these bums should be out of a job.
Top 1 music video I saw on Boston Sports Club TV this week: Paula Abdul's "Straight Up". A+! And, to this very day, it appears Paula insists on having things straight up. Like her pre-show drink or eight (ba-dump-a-dump).
Top 1 funniest article I've ever read on the internet: I realize this is no small Top 1. I have read lots of funny things on the internet. But this could be my #1.
This article came out after the Gillette Mach 3 and Schick Quattro challenged conventional thought on how many blades a man needs to finish off a close shave and have a disproportionately good-looking woman come stroke his face. But it came out two years before the Gillette Fusion! Unreal. I think someone at Gillette read this and thought: "This just might work".
Answer to the pop-quiz: Montreal Canadians, Toronto Maple Leafs (yes that's the plural), Vancouver Canucks, Edmonton Oilers, Calgary Flames, and Ottawa Senators.
This is an outstanding post. First, I would like to further the discussion concerning India. India, or as I like to say, Bharat Ganarajya, is a wonderful place. It is the seventh largest county in terms of geographical area and the second most populous country in the world. It has approximately 1.147995904 billion people (yeah, i could have just said that number in billions, but India does not succumb to normality so why should I?), and it is basically the only setting in Slumdog Mill-O-naire (as %#@$-face host man says), and I already can't think of anything else that is cool. There are lots of rickshaws. So I decided to read an article concerning India in the Olympics. India has won an impressive 8 gold medals in Hockey, wait, what the butt... is there ice in India... is there Molson in India? Ya ok, field hockey. Other than that they have 1 gold medal in shooting or something (i basically skimmed one paragraph of this article). The U.S. has 930 gold medals total. Holy crap we are awesome. But back to my cogent point, which was that Slumdog Mill-O-naire was pretty good so far, i still havent finished it, and one of the main features is how crazy the slums in India be.
ReplyDeleteI realize you may feel like you are reading in circles about India, which is really boring, eventhough you may not realize the circles form a downward spiral into a closely related point. Try www.thefuckingweather.com if you are too bored to continue, type in your zip code, check out all the site has to offer, try to make up some zip codes, I got a hit on East Swanzye, NH earlier this evening...such a jackpot. Back to what I was saying. So I am in class the other day (this detail is not assumed at FHS), and I look over to my man Kevin T, known also as K-Turn, Turner Burner, so on, and I say to him...can you name every NHL team? K-Turn can. So then say to him, what is a Canuck? At first another classmate of mine tried convincing me that it was one of those small whales with the unicorn head, and I flat out denied the fact that that species ever even existed. If unicorn horses do not exist, how then can a unicorn whale exist? Sorry, cool but no. So then I return home and check out the Gospel of the Web. The Gospel of the Web says that "canuck" is a slang term for a Canadian. I henceforth assume it is the elision of "canadian fuck". But the Gospel of the Web offers me another possibility, however irrational. "Some linguists hold that it is derived from the Hawaiian 'Kanaka'". Are you 100% serious. How the canuck would that even come about, have these linguists ever seen how canucking far Canada is from Hawaii. It wouldn't even make sense anyways, because nobody would make that up for an insult. Wow. That is all.
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