Yesterday, there was a Winter Weather Advisory in effect in the Greater Boston area. Light snow in the early A.M. intensified in the late morning and early afternoon before turning to sleet and eventually rain in the late afternoon. I had to be careful on the commute home as the slush turned to ice, resulting in several minor accidents and spin-outs on 95 and the Mass Pike.
Today, the weathermen on the radio would have you believe that everything is A-ok. It's not. The roads may be in good shape, but the sidewalks are a different story.
This evening's journey took me from my apartment (point A/D) to Boston Sports Club (point B). From BSC, I jogged down to Whole Foods (point C), where I picked up dinner and some miscellaneous items which I will discuss later. Thus far, I had traversed 0.7 treacherous miles. Only 0.2 miles stood between me and a comfortable evening on my denim couch, as you can see on the map below:
View Larger Map
The time was approximately 2030hrs. As I walked out of Whole Foods, I was salivating at the thought of plopping down on the Levi's sectional with a LeBron-Dwight Howard matchup just getting underway. In one hand, I carried my neatly packed Whole Foods paper bag. In the other, I held my dinner. I had paired two chilis for dinner - a chicken chili verde and a regular beef chili - in separate sections of the black Whole Foods plate, and I didn't want them to get mixed up, which sometimes happens when dinner is placed in the paper bag in spite of how carefully the bejeweled, oft-tattooed clerks pack the bag. I was walking briskly. I had chosen to wear a pair of my homemade Adidas capris (fashioned from those black Adidas track pants). The capris kept my knees warm, but I was cold nonetheless and was trying to get inside as quickly as possible.
I crossed Cambridge St. at Garden/Blossom. I was somewhere between a jog and a walk, propelled forward by the tilt of my Nike Max Air running shoes. I'd rate this pair of Nikes highly on most dimensions. Traction is not one of those dimensions. As I reached the other side of the road, I saw that, if I hurried, I could cross Garden without waiting. I planted my right foot to make the turn...and then my right foot wasn't there anymore.
I went down hard. I said "ooop". I opted to hold onto my dinner and Whole Foods bag. This meant I took the full brunt of the fall on my right hip and side. Did not feel good. What felt even worse the number of spectators. I take it back - it wasn't the number of spectators. It was the two that felt the need to comment.
A pair of "that guys" were across Garden St., walking in my direction. That Guy A looks and That Guy B and they share a That Guy chuckle. Then That Guy A (in his backwards hat, of course) offers a deeply sympathetic: "You alright, buddy?". Mind you, I was not rolling around on the ground in agony. On the contrary, I popped right back up from my fall. A car coming down Garden St., my desire to keep my two chilis separate, the general A-hole feeling that accompanies doing something dumb and attention-getting in public...I had plenty of motivation to pop up in a hurry. I was alright. A little red-faced, but clearly alright. Thanks for the concern, pal.
The situation could have been worse. My S.O.P.O.D. (Stupid Organic Purchase of the Day*) from Whole Foods was a Raspberry Ginger cereal. Yup, Raspberry Ginger. Made by a brand called Peace Cereal. What if that gem had fallen out of the bag? It would have been a regular field day for That Guy A & B.
That Guy A: "You alright, buddy?"
That Guy B: "Oh hey, you lost your...huh...Peace cereal dude."
That Guy A: "Yeah, don't want to lose that good Raspberry stuff."
That Guy B: (trailing off) "You see his pants? Huh-huh."
Crisis averted. Narrowly.
*I just can't seem to forego the SOPOD anytime I visit Whole Foods. It never works out. In fact, there's a pack of "Doctor Kracker Organic & Artisan-Baked Klassic 3 Seed Snackers" crackers on our coffee table right now, which went for $5.99. If those crafty no-goods stocked some Ritz crackers and Frosted Flakes, I'd still have more money and my manhood. Or maybe not, since the Ritz crackers and Frosted Flakes would still be packed in my environmentally sound reusable bag, which features a picture of a tree drawn by Sheryl Crow.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Since I proudly constitute 25% of your audience and fanbase, I will once again comment on one of your blogs. Ouch, I say, not concerning your bruised hip, but instead your dignity. Had you been wearing capris fashioned by addidas (which, I'll have you know, I possess), things would have worked out better. Though I am proud to see that you are not merely a fairweather fan when it comes to capris, in my experiences of late playing pond hockey at more or less the AHL level, I have found that addidas-made capris are slightly more padded than capris fashioned from similar-looking pants. The capris are also longer, though I found that in order to protect my enlarged strange bump growing on my left knee, I needed to construct one knee pad from a soccer sleeve and a neck warmer. Though I will never wear these capris at soccer practice for fear of growing a Christiano Ronaldo-esque Fo-Hawk, I do think they are better. They are also longer and baggier than yours, which appear to have been stripped from the legs of a man mauled by Wolverine, since apparently you cannot cut things with scissors without making it look like a shark bite. Capris work well for a first layer while playing pond hockey. Now, I don't want to rival your blog with some extraordinary film footage, but you may be interested in AHL star Rob Schremp's ability to "dangle", as they say. Enjoy.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwovbIyPYJk
Hmm, I enjoyed the inclusion of a map, but I believe that one destination has been omitted: (C') : the floor.
ReplyDelete