Answer honestly: would you prefer to...always wear flannel or always wear turtlenecks?

Oh, no you didn't. You didn't just put flannel in the same category with turtlenecks. Turtlenecks for women are one things. Turtlenecks for guys are another. These two pictures pretty much settle the issue on turtle necks:



Wearing a turtleneck is walking a dangerous line between:

The guy on left: Mocha-latte-cafe-americano-drinking, Armani-Exchange-wearing, hair-gel-market-stimulating, the guy on the left fits in at clubs, probably enjoys shopping, and calls movies films. Guy on the left, you're worthless. Actually, I take it back. You serve one purpose. You make me think there's someone out there that I could maybe beat up. Even though you have a spiky belt.

The guy on the right: Guy on the right, I want to like you. You're nice, but every time I come over, we watch Friends and you keep asking me if I want anything else. Guy on the right, you already made two bowls of popcorn. Relax. And it's okay that you made the error that cost our softball team the playoffs. Yeah, I'm still pissed, but I always knew you would eventually screw things up. We just put you on the team because you show up a half hour early to every game and prevent us from forfeiting. Where did you get a plain black hat anyway?

Conversely, I made a collage to show how happy I am whenever I wear flannel (sorry adoring fans, can't reveal my true identity).



I'm smiling. It appears that I have friends (see random hands in right hand photos)! That kind of magic doesn't happen in a turtleneck, let me tell you.

I'm still full of pent up anger from someone comparing freaking turtlenecks to flannel, so I'm going to unleash a little fury on a couple other topics that I feel strongly about.

Oh no you didn't... wear Polo stuff. I hate your Polo polo. I hate the royal blue one with the red horseman. I hate the purple one with the gold horseman. I hate your Polo shorts. Why did you have to stick a stupid horseman on a perfectly good pair khaki shorts? I hate your Polo pocket t-shirt. (Actually, I kind of like your Polo pocket t-shirt, but that's the only Polo thing of yours that I like. And if you wear a Polo t-shirt with a big old logo in the middle and no pocket, then screw you.) I really hate your Polo dress shirt. Real classy. Maybe they can embroider A&F on the other side. Or NASCAR on the back. If you pair it with a Polo tie, you're a lost cause. I hate your half-zip sweater thing. I don't care if you got the gray one with the blue horseman or the blue one with the gray horseman. (Is it reversible?)

This is not personal. I just really don't like your Polo stuff. Take any boring article of clothing, stick the stupid horseman on it, and now it's "classy". Ditto for La Coste. It reminds me of a Pink song or something. How long can she keep churning out crap before we get sick of the monotony and kick the habit?

There's one exception to the not-personal statement above. The big horseman. You = Guy on the Left.

Oh no you didn't... Drop Shot Blog. I'm a fan. I think you've been doing some fine work. But you threw down the gauntlet with your egregious, arrogant, generally mean-spirited Scrabble Challenge:

"Hi friends! I have an important announcement to make, so this post will be brief. I will be bringing a Scrabble board back to Boston, which I am pretty excited about. This is my official open challenge to anyone who wants to play. Let me know if you're up for a game! In the meantime, get your game face on... "

Listen, Drop Shot Blog, I see your little dictionary-esque "About Me" section. That doesn't scare me. When Stump trivia asked which letters appeared twice on a single tile in Scrabble Espanol, I didn't flinch. "L" and "R". Heck, I could probably play Scrabble in hieroglyphics. I was already deep in the Scrabble scene when you were still eating Alphabet cereal. I could make a seven letter word out of a can of Spaghetti O's. I would drop a triple word score on my grandma.

You play for fun. I play for keeps, Drop Shot.

Other stuff

1. I have the same glasses as Laney Boggs in "She's All That".



2. I envy this blog. "A blog where I tell cute animals what's what". The followers are the best part. They just keep right on ripping on the cute animal once BZA is done. It makes me smile to think about people sitting at work just itching for a fresh target. What's it going to be today? Refresh, refresh, refresh. A deer? Oh Bambi, wait until I'm finished with you.

"Like I need you to f-ing smile at ME, Deer. You've let all those antlers go to your head. (zing!)"

-Kurt

3. An Allen Iverson quote I missed. After coming off the bench for 18 minutes (too few, in his humble opinion), AI said: "I can play 18 minutes with my eyes closed and a 100-pound truck on my back." Hold on. A hundred pound truck?